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electricity production and consumption

electricity production and consumption YwjGQ
The bar chart clearly illustrates the production and consumption of Electricity(in billion kWh) across various countries in the year 2014. Overall, maximum current was produced and used by china. In contrast, minimum amount of electricity was both utilized andproduced in Korea. In 2014, China Ranks the highest in producing 5, 398 billion kWh of power. In addition to it, China stood in the first place in consuming almost equal power it produced. This reflects the fact that China is having the highest population among all the countries. United States took the second place in both production(4099) and consumption(3866) whereas Russia, Japan, India were in third, fourth, fifth place respectively generating (936. 2, 817, 618) and using (856. 7, 698, 499). Canada ranked next to India with a slight difference in both electricity production and consumption with respect to India. After Canada, France and Brazil took the seventh andeighth positions in both production(561. 2) and utilization(462. 9) of electrical energy. Further Germany consumes 582. 5 of energy and on the contrary it produces only 526. 6. All in all Korea is the only country that generates(485. 1 ) and consumes(449. 5 ) the least amount of electrical energy.
The bar chart
clearly
illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and consumption of Electricity(in
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
kWh) across various countries in the year 2014.

Overall
, maximum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
was produced
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by china.
In contrast
, minimum amount of electricity was both utilized
Possible spelling mistake found.
andproduced
in Korea.

In 2014, China Ranks the highest in producing 5, 398 billion kWh of power.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition to it, China stood in the
first
place in consuming almost equal

power it produced. This reflects the fact that China is having the highest population among all the countries.

United States took the second place in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production(4099)
and consumption(3866) whereas Russia, Japan, India were in third, fourth, fifth place
respectively
generating (936. 2, 817, 618) and using (856. 7, 698, 499).

Canada ranked
next
to India with a slight difference in both electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and consumption with respect to India.

After Canada, France and Brazil took the seventh
Possible spelling mistake found.
andeighth
positions in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production(561
. 2) and utilization(462. 9) of electrical energy.

Further
Germany consumes 582. 5 of energy and
on the contrary
it produces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
526. 6. All in all Korea is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
country that generates(485. 1
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
and consumes(449. 5
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
the least amount of electrical energy.
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IELTS academic electricity production and consumption

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
197 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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