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The bar chart illustrates things done by UK graduate and post graduate, who did not attend full-time job when they had left college in 2008.

The bar chart illustrates things done by UK graduate and post graduate, who did not attend full-time job when they had left college in 2008. Kljxk
The bar chart illustrates things done by UK graduate and post graduate, who did not attend full-time job when they had left college in 2008. Overall, the quantity of post graduate in the UK took part in full-time work considerably more than graduate. Both of them chose to study further the most and did volunteer work at least. When it came to UK graduated, the large number of people carried on learning deeply at 29665, which closely doubled that of the jobless and were over eight times as many as people doing voluntary jobs. At the same time, graduated pupils doing part-time jobs accounted for 17735. Like UK graduated, further study was picked mostly, which were 2725 post students and approximately eight times more than the number of volunteers. Meanwhile, toward research student who didn't have any job or did part-time work were much fewer quantity than graduate with 1625 and 2535 people respectively.
The bar chart illustrates things done by UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
and post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
, who did not attend full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
when they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
college in 2008.

Overall
, the quantity of post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
in the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in full-time work
considerably
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
. Both of them chose to study
further
the most and did volunteer work at least.

When it came to UK graduated, the large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
carried on learning
deeply
at 29665, which
closely
doubled that of the jobless and were over eight times as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
doing voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. At the same time, graduated pupils doing part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
accounted for 17735.

Like UK graduated,
further
study
was picked
mostly
, which were 2725 post students and approximately eight times more than the number of volunteers. Meanwhile, toward research student who didn't have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or did part-time work were much fewer quantity than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
with 1625 and 2535
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
respectively
.

IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates things done by UK graduate and post graduate, who did not attend full-time job when they had left college in 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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