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Education, which occupied almost a quarter of governmental budget

Education, which occupied almost a quarter of governmental budget xmxQa
The two pie charts illustrate the percentage of government spending across nine categories in the years 2000 and 2010. Overall, the budget of all areas, excepts welfare and borrowing, has been cut out. However, education remained the most significant segment of government expenditure in both represented years. In comparison, transport, culture and leisure and ‘other’ have had the smallest budget over the period. Education, which occupied almost a quarter of government spending in 2000, fell to 21 percent in 2016. Spending on healthcare, defence, transport and culture and leisure also decreased significantly, with the transport budget declining by two thirds. Spending on interest on borrowing accounted for 3 percent of government expenditure in 2000 and experienced a more than twofold increase in one-tenth in 2010. Transport made up 8 percent of government expenditure in 2000 and had a steady growth of 5 percent in 2010. In contrast, spending on the pensions section remained constant in both years at 19 percent.
The two pie charts illustrate the percentage of
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government
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spending
across nine categories in the years 2000 and 2010.

Overall
, the budget of all areas, excepts welfare and borrowing, has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
out.
However
, education remained the most significant segment of
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government
expenditure in both represented years.
In comparison
,
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transport
, culture and leisure and ‘other’ have had the smallest budget over the period.

Education, which occupied almost a quarter of
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government
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spending
in 2000, fell to 21
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percent
in 2016.
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Spending
on healthcare,
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
,
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transport
and culture and leisure
also
decreased
significantly
, with the
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transport
budget declining by two thirds.

Spending on interest on borrowing accounted for 3
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percent
of
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government
expenditure in 2000 and experienced a more than twofold increase in one-tenth in 2010.
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Transport
made up 8
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percent
of
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government
expenditure in 2000 and had a steady growth of 5
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percent
in 2010.
In contrast
,
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spending
on the pensions section remained constant in both years at 19
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
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IELTS academic Education, which occupied almost a quarter of governmental budget

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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