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The diagrams illustrate construction of West Park Secondary School in 1950 and modifications after that in 1980 and 2010. summarise the diagrams

The diagrams illustrate construction of West Park Secondary School in 1950 and modifications after that in 1980 and 2010. summarise the diagrams E3qgq
The bar chart illustrates top ten highest electricity producing and consuming countries in 2014. Electricity magnitudes are shown as billion kWh. The countries are China, US, Russia, Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil, Germany and Republic of Korea. Overall, China and United States were at the top of the list for both production and consumption, while the rest of the countries fall very much behind these two. Another important data is that Germany was the only country that consumed more than it produced. China had a clear lead in terms of electricity turnover with production of 5, 398 kWh and consumption of 5, 322. US had second place with production and consumption of 4, 099 kWh and 3, 966 kWh respectively. Republic of Korea is at the bottom of this list, producing as little as 485, 1 kWh while spending 449, 5 kWh of electricity. Germany is another country worth noting because in this particular year it consumed more than it produced, which left it with net electricity deficit of 55. 9 kWh. Rewrite: Germany is another country worth noting because it was the only country with net electricity deficit of 55. 9 kWh in this particular year.
The bar chart illustrates top ten highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
producing and consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in 2014.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Electricity
magnitudes
are shown
as
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
kWh. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are China, US, Russia, Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil, Germany and Republic of Korea.

Overall
, China and United States were at the top of the list for both production and consumption, while the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
fall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much behind these two. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
data is that Germany was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that consumed more than it produced.

China had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
lead in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
turnover with production of 5, 398 kWh and consumption of 5, 322. US had second place with production and consumption of 4, 099 kWh and 3, 966 kWh
respectively
. Republic of Korea is at the bottom of this list, producing as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
as 485, 1 kWh while spending 449, 5 kWh of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
. Germany is another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
worth noting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in this particular year it consumed more than it produced, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
it with net
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
deficit of 55. 9 kWh.

Rewrite: Germany is another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
worth noting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with net
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
deficit of 55. 9 kWh in this particular year.
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IELTS academic The diagrams illustrate construction of West Park Secondary School in 1950 and modifications after that in 1980 and 2010. summarise the diagrams

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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