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the money was given and the money was paid of a children's charity in USA in the year 2016 have many difference. do you agree with this statement

the money was given and the money was paid of a children's charity in USA in the year 2016 have many difference. aw7Ld
The rendered pie chart depicted the purpose of using and origins of amount of money owned by a children charity in the United State in 2016 A glance through the pie chart makes it be obviously described that donated food played the major role in total income sources while most of money was spent for program services in given year According in the data from the pie chart that the most thoroughly of that organization are demonstrated vital origin if fund owned by that charity was donated food with 86, 6%. Besides, community contributions were regarded as the second most necessary with 10, 4% It is evident that the amount of money coming from program revenue was third highest equal to approximately one fifth of that originariny form community contributions. At last, three other money sources that were investment income, government grants, other income took up minor parts with 0, 2; 0, 2; 0, 4 respectively The purpose in which fund was used by that charity are detailedly showed that most of money was paid for program services as it accounted for 95, 6%. Espectally, the amount of expenditure for management and general was the lowest with 1, 6%. At last, fund raising took up the amount of money just nearly double than that of management and general
The rendered pie chart depicted the purpose of using and origins of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by a children charity in the United State in 2016

A glance through the pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it be
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
that donated food played the major role in total income sources while most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
was spent
for program services in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
year

Did you mean: "according to"? according to: (as stated/in the opinion of)
According in
the data from the pie chart that the most
thoroughly
of that organization
are demonstrated
vital origin if fund
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by that charity
was donated
food with 86, 6%.
Besides
, community contributions
were regarded
as the second most necessary with 10, 4%

It is evident that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
coming from program revenue was third highest equal to approximately one fifth of that
Possible spelling mistake found.
originariny
form community contributions. At last, three other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
sources that were investment income,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
grants, other income took up minor parts with 0, 2; 0, 2; 0, 4
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
respectively


The purpose in which fund was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by that charity are
Possible spelling mistake found.
detailedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
was paid
for program services as it accounted for 95, 6%.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Espectally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of expenditure for management and general was the lowest with 1, 6%. At last,
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
fund raising
took up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
nearly
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
double
than that of management and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
general
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IELTS academic the money was given and the money was paid of a children's charity in USA in the year 2016 have many difference.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
217 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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