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Drinking habitat by age (US)

Drinking habitat by age (US) JVpo5
The chart illustrates data regarding pattern of drinking among US population according to age. It is shown that older people are less intended to drink or even sometimes prefer drink less in amount. The diagram depicts that nearly 60% of young people of age from 16 to 24 can be classified as heavy drinkers as well as people who are usually called middle class (35-44 years old). There is approximately a half of people in other group ages (25-35 y. o. , 45-54 y. o. , 55-64 y. o. ) who are indicated as heavy drinker. As for light drinkers, its proportion steadily decreases from age group 16-24 to 25-34 one and continue this trend when it come to the group 35-44, but sharply rises in the last two group ages. Furthermore, there are roughly one fourth of the youngest group of people pointed as light drinker, and the percentage increases to around 30% for next group age. Nevertheless, it gradually decreases with all rest group ages. Finally, nearly 5% of young people (16-24) have never drunk in their life, but the proportion steadily rises to age 45-54, and goes less to approximately the same minimum of 5% who never drunk in age group 65-74.
The chart illustrates data regarding pattern of drinking among US population according to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. It
is shown
that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less intended to drink or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
prefer drink less in amount.

The diagram depicts that
nearly
60% of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
from 16 to 24 can
be classified
as heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinkers
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
usually
called middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
(35-44 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
). There is approximately a half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
(25-35 y. o.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
45-54 y. o.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
55-64 y. o.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
who
are indicated
as heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinker
. As for light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinkers
, its proportion
steadily
decreases from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
16-24 to 25-34 one and continue this trend when it
Did you mean "comes"?
come
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
35-44,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
sharply
rises in the last two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
.
Furthermore
, there are roughly one
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "fourths"?
fourth
of the youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pointed as light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinker
, and the percentage increases to around 30% for
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Nevertheless
, it
gradually
decreases with all rest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
.
Finally
,
nearly
5% of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(16-24) have never drunk in their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the proportion
steadily
rises to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
45-54, and goes less to approximately the same minimum of 5% who never drunk in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
65-74.
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IELTS academic Drinking habitat by age (US)

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
205 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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