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divorce rate and marriage rate in USA in 1970

divorce rate and marriage rate in USA in 1970 QleY1
The first bie chart illustrates the number of people who are marriage and divorce from 1970 up to 2000, and the second bie chart shows the percentage of martial status of adults in two years. In 1970 to 1980, the quantity of marriage people as same as 1980 but in 1980 in comparison with 1970, the rates of divorce has been increased. the minim rates of marriage has happened in 2000 by the reason of high percentage of people who never married. Surprisingly, despite high number of marriage people in 1970, the quantity of widowed people are more than 2000. Overally, it’s apparent The most rates of divorced people belongs to 1980 and maximum marriage happened between 1970 and 1980
The
first
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bie
chart illustrates the number of
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people
who are
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marriage
and divorce from 1970 up to 2000, and the second
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bie
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the percentage of martial status of adults in two years.

In 1970 to 1980, the quantity of
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marriage
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people
as same as 1980
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but
in 1980
in comparison
with 1970, the rates of divorce has
been increased
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
minim rates of
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marriage
has happened in 2000 by the reason of high percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who never married.

Surprisingly
, despite high number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 1970, the quantity of widowed
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people
are more than 2000.

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Overally
, it’s apparent The most rates of divorced
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people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
belongs
to 1980 and maximum
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marriage
happened between 1970 and 1980
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IELTS academic divorce rate and marriage rate in USA in 1970

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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