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School and team introduction

School and team introduction lXNXb
School facilities: -When talking about my school, the first thing that would come to mind is the sheer size of it which can even be compable to most college campuses. +In the middle of our school is the main school yard with two whole basket ball court, there are also alot of spaces with plenty of trees and stone benches for student to hang out and talk during recess. Its also the place where most of the school ceremonies will take place. +Not only that, Behind of the main school bulding is also a even bigger and huge open field big enough to fit a few football field, its so big that its also where some of our camping trip have taken place. +Even crazier is that there is also a indoor sporting hall so the student’s PE activites will not be affected by the weather. And have I mentioned there is also a Ping pong table? -In addition, our school also offer a huge deal of up to date, modern and fully equiped facilities: +There is a chemistry/biology lab with all of the euipments and chemicals us student can experiment and study with +Next, there is also two computer room, each is fully decked out with a few dozens of brand new computer ready to serve so none of students will be left out. +Ive also personally seen a few empty rooms with headphones which I suspect will be used for English listening excersises. +Plus, our school also has a library with a few computers, free desks and a lot of books that student can use during their freetime.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
facilities:

-When talking about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the
first
thing that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to mind is the sheer size of it which can even be
Possible spelling mistake found.
compable
to most college campuses.

+In the middle of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
yard with two whole basket ball court, there are
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of spaces with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of trees and stone benches for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to hang out and talk during recess.
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Its
also
the place where most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
ceremonies will take place.

+Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, Behind of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake found.
bulding
is
also
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
even bigger and huge open field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to fit a few football field, its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
that its
also
where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our camping trip have taken place.

+Even crazier is that there is
also
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
indoor sporting hall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
PE
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the weather. And have I mentioned there is
also
a Ping pong table?

-
In addition
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
also
offer a huge deal of up to date, modern and
fully
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "equipped", the past tense form of the verb 'equip'?
equiped
facilities:

+There is a chemistry/biology lab with
Consider using "all the".
all of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
euipments
and chemicals us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can experiment and study with

+
Next
, there is
also
two computer room, each is
fully
decked out with a few dozens of
'brand new' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "brand-new".
brand new
computer ready to serve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
none of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out.

+
Possible spelling mistake found
Ive
also
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a few empty rooms with headphones which I suspect will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for English listening
Possible spelling mistake found.
excersises
.

+Plus, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
also
has a library with a few computers, free desks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
books that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
during their
Possible spelling mistake found.
freetime
.
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IELTS academic School and team introduction

Academic
  American English
9 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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