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diagram below show how electricity is generated by using hot water from underground

diagram below show how electricity is generated by using hot water from underground 0MmRG
The picture illustratesbthe procedure of electricity how it is generated by utilisation of hot water from underground. The staggering feature of diagram is that it is an artificial process. If one step is missed the whole process of making electricity disturbed. To Start with, water is getting hot due to the presence of hot rocks inside the earth then this water is pumped up to the heat exchanger. Moreover, heat exchanger and extract heat and give this heat to power station. Moving further, power station generates electricity from heat then transfer this electricity to national grid through cables. Apart from this, heat exchangers separate heat and water. Along with this, cold water is pumped back down so that the process of making electricity continued and does not stopped.
The picture
Possible spelling mistake found.
illustratesbthe
procedure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
how it
is generated
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
from underground. The staggering feature of diagram is that it is an artificial process.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
one step
is missed
the whole process of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
disturbed. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is getting hot due to the presence of hot rocks inside the earth then this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is pumped
up to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heat
exchanger.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heat
exchanger and extract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heat
and give this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heat
to power station. Moving
further
, power station generates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heat
then transfer this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
to national grid through cables. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heat
exchangers separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Along with this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is pumped
back down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the process of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
continued and does not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "stop"?
stopped
.
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IELTS academic diagram below show how electricity is generated by using hot water from underground

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
128 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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