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developments in information technology

developments in information technology 2bOXj
In the modern world, Information Technology has prevailed and still kept developing around our lives. I agree with the fact that the Information Technology has not only developed significantly over the last 20 years but also those developments in the future tend to have more disadvantages than advantages. It is true that the IT industry has given a lot of benefits to our daily lives. Useful tools to get information is available all the time around us such as Google, Facebook, LINE and so on. We can search whatever we want to know every time and everywhere from the World Wide Web as in Google as long as we carry our smartphones or laptops. Besides, Google includes a guiding function with a map and this enable us to go to the certain places quite easily without a paper map. Applications such as Facebook and LINE allow us to contact anyone conveniently. LINE makes it easy for us to communicate with friends and family members because we can tell whether someone beyond the screen has read a message or not by a certain mark below the message. While LINE allows us to contact with friends and family members, Facebook enable us to contact with total strangers or even celebrities. The range of information we can get spreads by using Facebook. However, it's likely that disadvantages of IT developments surpass advantages of them in the future. It's possible accidents in transportations occur more frequently by watching and typing in the screen of smartphones so intently. Furthermore, too much information often confuses people's decisions easily. In conclusion, IT developments has made our lives easier and yet they are likely to turn out to be negative effects in the future if we don't use them effectively.
In the modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
Technology has prevailed and
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
developing around our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
Technology has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
developed
significantly
over the last 20 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
those developments in the future tend to have more disadvantages than advantages.

It is true that the IT industry has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Useful tools to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is available all
Consider using "the surrounding time".
the time around us
such as Google, Facebook,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LINE
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. We can search whatever we want to know every time and everywhere from the World Wide Web as in Google as long as we carry our smartphones or laptops.
Besides
, Google includes a guiding function with a map and this enable us to go to the certain places quite
easily
without a paper map. Applications such as Facebook and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LINE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to contact anyone
conveniently
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LINE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy for us to communicate with friends and family members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
whether someone beyond the screen has read a message or not by a certain mark below the message. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LINE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to contact with friends and family members, Facebook enable us to contact with total strangers or even celebrities. The range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
spreads by using Facebook.

However
, it's likely that disadvantages of IT developments surpass advantages of them in the future. It's possible accidents in transportations occur more
frequently
by watching and typing in the screen of smartphones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
intently
.
Furthermore
, too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
confuses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's decisions
easily
.

In conclusion
, IT developments has made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
easier and
yet
they are likely to turn out to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects in the future if we don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
effectively
.
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IELTS academic developments in information technology

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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