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Development of Paradise Island

Development of Paradise Island oxXnw
The maps depict the transformation of a paradise island from the past and the present. From the first picture, there was only one building, scientific research station, in the west of the island. Palm trees were located in the center of the island and natural spring is situated to the south west of rocks on the fringe of the bay. The island had a beach in the north west of the island. A pier which provided sailing around a sea was located in the west coast of the island. As can be seen apparently, there has been substantially changed in the present day. The island appeals to tourists with leisure facilities. The scientific research station was demolished and this place is made way for a hotel complex with swimming pool access. The most noticeable additions are restaurant, bbq area and cafe which are located on the east side of the hotel. Moreover, there exists a place where scenic beauty can be seen in the north of the island. The pier is expanded where cruise ship can land. The natural spring remains the same and people are permitted to swim in the beach. There is a cycle path which one can go anywhere around the island.
The maps depict the transformation of a paradise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
from the past and the present.

From the
first
picture, there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one building, scientific research station, in the west of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
. Palm trees
were located
in the center of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
and natural spring
is situated
to the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
south west
of rocks on the fringe of the bay. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
had a beach in the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
north west
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
. A pier which provided sailing around a sea
was located
in the west coast of the island.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
apparently
, there has been
substantially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the present day. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
appeals to tourists with leisure facilities. The scientific research station
was demolished
and this place
is made
way for a hotel complex with swimming pool access.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
most noticeable additions are restaurant,
Possible spelling mistake found.
bbq
area and
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
which
are located
on the east side of the hotel.
Moreover
, there exists a place where scenic beauty can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the north of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
. The pier
is expanded
where cruise ship can land. The natural spring remains the same and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are permitted
to swim in the beach. There is a cycle path which one can go anywhere around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
.
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IELTS academic Development of Paradise Island

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
205 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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