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Destination of graduates from one university

Destination of graduates from one university DY52E
The Pie chart compare the graduates who got a work after their completion of graduation. Overall half of the proportion of graduates got heir full time work and little ratio of students did not get work. Lets us take accurate percentage of data. Large volume of people almost 50% of students got full time work and only 8% of students data is unknown and also full time post graduate, whereas 5% of students doing simultaneously post graduate and part time jobs also 15% students preferred only part time job. When it comes to salary package after their completion of 5 years of work almost 50% percent of government staffs got $100, 000 whereas freelance and private sector staffs got 40% and 50% respectively, lesser than that $75-99, 999 was given to40% in freelance and 30% to 40% in government and private sectors and at last $50-74$ and $25- 49% salary package was given by freelance and government sector remains same but only private management offered 35% and 10% respectively. In conclusion 80% of students got job in many categories, only 20% students ratio was not known and unemployed
The Pie chart compare the
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graduates
who
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got
a
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work
after their completion of graduation.
Overall
half of the proportion of
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graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
heir full
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time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
ratio of
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students
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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work
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Lets
us take accurate percentage of data. Large volume of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
almost 50% of
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students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
8% of
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students
data is unknown and
also
full
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time
post
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graduate
, whereas 5% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
doing
simultaneously
post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
and part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
jobs
also
15%
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students
preferred
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only
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
job. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to salary package after their completion of 5 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
almost 50% percent of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
staffs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
$100, 000 whereas freelance and private sector staffs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
40% and 50%
respectively
, lesser than that $75-99, 999 was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to40% in freelance and 30% to 40% in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and private sectors and at last $50-
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$74".
74$
and $25- 49% salary package was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by freelance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sector remains same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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only
private management offered 35% and 10%
respectively
.

In conclusion
80% of
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students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
job in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
categories,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
20%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ratio was not known and unemployed
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IELTS academic Destination of graduates from one university

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
187 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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