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describing a process shown

describing a process shown 2KJlb

The given diagram illustrates how a finished product is manufactured from raw materials. Overall, there are several stages in this process, which are including two main factors: the fundamental manufacturing process and collecting together with analyzing feedback. Firstly, after doing product resreach, design team will prepare plan for production planning stage. Meanwhile, raw materials and produced components are stored to prepare for the the same step. At this point, they are discussed carefully to provide feedback for the previous step. At the following phase, this product is assembed and investigated before being testing, and its result brings information for design team to adjust their work. Subsequently, products undergo two consecutive phases including packpaging and despatch before being sold in the market. Information of feedback are collected from sales stage for the market research team, who analyzed the pros and cons of the finished goods and provide information for previous steps, such as advertising, packaging and design.

The This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accorded
given
 diagram illustrates how a finished You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcommodityprofitbrandworkamountcrop
product
is manufactured
 from raw materials.

Overall
, there are several stages in this process, which are including two main factors: the fundamental manufacturing process and collecting together with analyzing feedback.

Firstly
, after doing You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcommodityprofitbrandworkamountcrop
product
Possible spelling mistake found.res reach
resreach
, design team will prepare plan for production planning stage. Meanwhile, raw materials and produced components are stored
 to prepare for Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.the
the the
 same step. At this point, they are discussed
carefully
 to provide feedback for the previous step. At the following phase, this You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcommodityprofitbrandworkamountcrop
product
 is Possible spelling mistake found.assembledass embed
assembed
 and investigated This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 being testing, and its result brings information for design team to adjust their work.

Subsequently
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcommodityprofitbrandworkamountcrop
products
 undergo two consecutive phases including Possible spelling mistake found.packagingpack paging
packpaging
 and despatch This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
being sold
 in the market. Information of feedback are collected
 from sales stage for the market research team, who analyzed the pros and cons of the finished This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :productscommoditiesmerchandises
goods
 and provide information for previous steps, such as advertising, packaging and design. 

IELTS academic describing a process shown

Academic

American English

4 paragraphs

156 words

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 5.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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