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Describe the graph bar above : The total sales of chicken, beef, lamb and fish’s burgers by McDeli Cafe Burgers in the month of April in thousands.

Describe the graph bar above: The total sales of chicken, beef, lamb and fish’s burgers by McDeli Cafe Burgers in the month of April in thousands. XlONA
The graph bar above shows the total sales of chicken, beef, lamb and fish’s burgers by McDeli Cafe Burgers in the month of April in thousands. Overall, the sales fluctuate throughout the month. It can be seen that in the first and second weeks of April, McDeli has sold the greatest number of beef burgers. However, the sales have dropped during weeks 3 and 4. Meanwhile, the chicken burger's sales remained unchanged at first in week 1 to week 2 but then increased steadily from RM17 thousand in week 2 to RM25 thousand in week 4. Throughout week 1 to week 4, sales of the McDeli lamb burger fluctuated but the sales increased in week 4 from week 3. On the other hand, the McDeli fish burger's sales increased after remaining unchanged in weeks 1 and 2. It then became the second-highest sales of burgers for the week in week 4. In conclusion, despite the fluctuated sales of McDeli burgers in April, the sales have started to climb in the last two weeks of the month, for chicken and fish’s burgers.
The graph bar above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of chicken, beef, lamb and fish’s burgers by
Possible spelling mistake found.
McDeli
'Cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
Cafe
Burgers in the month of April in thousands.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
fluctuate throughout the month.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in the
first
and second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
of April,
Possible spelling mistake found.
McDeli
has sold the greatest number of beef burgers.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
have dropped during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
3 and 4. Meanwhile, the chicken burger's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
remained unchanged at
first
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
1 to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
2
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then increased
steadily
from RM17 thousand in
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week
2 to RM25 thousand in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
4. Throughout
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week
1 to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
4,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
McDeli
lamb burger fluctuated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
increased in
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week
4 from
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week
3.
On the other hand
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
McDeli
fish burger's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
increased after remaining unchanged in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
1 and 2. It then became the second-highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of burgers for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
4.

In conclusion
, despite the fluctuated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
McDeli
burgers in April, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to climb in the last two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
of the month, for chicken and fish’s burgers.
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IELTS academic Describe the graph bar above: The total sales of chicken, beef, lamb and fish’s burgers by McDeli Cafe Burgers in the month of April in thousands.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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