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describe changes in one map

describe changes in one map qL7AG
These maps depict the development that has been occurring in Grange Park from 1920 until now. It is clear from the graph, the area became more modernized than before. According to what is shown, on the southern part of the region, all seats, rose garden, and glasshouse were demolished, and a new water feature was built in on the southern-eastern corner. Also, a modern entrance underground car park was constructed. Moving to the north-east part of the park, it is noticeable that, the last rose garden and Pond for water plants were redeveloped into café and children’s play area respectively. Taking a closer look at the center of the district, the ancient fountain had been flattened, and a new four-seat rose garden was erected instead. In the last part of the area, on the northern-western part, the rose garden remained untouched, while the seats were crushed. Furthermore, the stage for musicians was turned to the huge amphitheater for concerts. To sum up, we could say that, despite the apparently significant changes that took place in Grange park, the Grange park’s overall plan remained almost the same during one hundred and one years.
These maps depict the development that has been occurring in Grange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
from 1920 until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph, the area became more modernized than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. According to what
is shown
, on the southern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the region, all seats,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
, and glasshouse
were demolished
, and a new water feature
was built
in on the southern-eastern corner.
Also
, a modern entrance underground car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
was constructed
. Moving to the north-east
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, it is noticeable that, the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
and Pond for water plants
were redeveloped
into café and children’s play area
respectively
. Taking a closer look at the center of the district, the ancient fountain had
been flattened
, and a new four-seat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
was erected
instead
. In the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the area, on the northern-western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
remained untouched, while the seats
were crushed
.
Furthermore
, the stage for musicians
was turned
to the huge amphitheater for concerts. To sum up, we could say that, despite the
apparently
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that took place in Grange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, the Grange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park’s
overall
plan remained almost the same during one hundred and one years.
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IELTS academic describe changes in one map

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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