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27-03-2021 Task 1: The maps below show a beachfront area in Australia in 1950 and today.

27-03-2021 Task 1: The maps below show a beachfront area in Australia in 1950 and today. mWBgA
The diagram outlines the process by which knitwear, carpets and jackets are produced from fleece. As can be seen from the picture, there are many main steps in this process, it begins by people breeding sheeps and finishes by giving the final products. First of all, farmers take care of their sheeps, after that they shear fleece to prepare for next steps. Then the fleece is collected, it will be cleaned and dried by the technological devices. Next, people spin fleece, a part of them becomes wool and another part is string. Specifically, the wool is used in many next steps, however people bring the string to recycle. Next, the wool is made of tufts and people bring them into suitable storage. After that, people use a large amount of tufts of wool and give the product as balls of yarn. Lastly, these balls of yarn are put to use, a number of them will be people buy to knit and the final products become the raw material to produce clothes, for example carpets and jackets. And these are all the steps in this process which use fleece to make clothes and knitwear.
The diagram outlines the process by which knitwear, carpets and jackets
are produced
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fleece
. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the picture, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
in this process, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
breeding
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "sheep", the plural form of the noun 'sheep'?
sheeps
and finishes by giving the final products.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, farmers take care of their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "sheep", the plural form of the noun 'sheep'?
sheeps
, after that they shear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fleece
to prepare for
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fleece
is collected
, it will
be cleaned
and dried by the technological devices.
Next
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fleece
, a part of them becomes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wool
and another part is string.
Specifically
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wool
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bring the string to recycle.

Next
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wool
is made
of tufts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bring them into suitable storage. After that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a large amount of tufts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wool
and give the product as balls of yarn.
Lastly
, these balls of yarn
are put
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, a number of them will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
to knit and the final products become the raw material to produce clothes,
for example
carpets and jackets. And these are all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
in this process which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fleece
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
clothes and knitwear.

IELTS academic 27-03-2021 Task 1: The maps below show a beachfront area in Australia in 1950 and today.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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