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describe a line chart that shows the motivations people went to live in the capital city

describe a line chart that shows the motivations people went to live in the capital city 0EXnQ
The line chart shows the motivations people went to live in the capital city of a country between the years 2000 and 2015. The overall trend for the whole period of 15 years is an increase in the number of people who moved to the capital city. The main reason why people moved is study. In 2000, about 25, 000 people moved to the metropolis for this motivation, and the numbers constantly increased until 2010, when 55, 000 people moved to the capital city, and then sharply climbed between 2010 and 2015, reaching a peak of 88, 000 people in 2015. Other two reasons are family/friends and adventure. These motivations had the same number of people moving at the beginning, in 2000. However, we can see that the number people moving out for adventure slightly rose between the whole 15 years, reaching the amount of about 15, 000 people. In the other case, as shown, from 2010 to 2015 the numbers steadily increased, going from 10, 000 in the first year, to 22, 000 in 2010, and reaching 25, 000 in the last year. The last reason why people moved out of their homes to reach the main city is employment. As shown is the graph, this motivation saw a gradual increase between 2000 and 2010, while it experienced a slow decrease during the last 5 years. All in all, the graph shows an overall upwards trend about the people who moved to the capital city during the period between 2000 and 2015. Studying was the main reason of this relocation, family/friends and adventure both saw a steady and slow rise, while employment at the beginning experienced a consistent increase, despite a fall in numbers between 2010 and 2015.
The line chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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motivations
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people
went to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
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capital
city of a country between the years 2000 and 2015. The
overall
trend for the whole period of 15 years is an increase in the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
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moved
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
city.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
main
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reason
why
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people
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moved
is study. In 2000, about 25, 000
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people
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moved
to the metropolis for this
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motivation
, and the
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numbers
constantly
increased until 2010, when 55, 000
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moved
to the
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capital
city, and then
sharply
climbed between 2010 and 2015, reaching a peak of 88, 000
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people
in 2015.

Other two
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reasons
are family/friends and adventure. These
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motivations
had the same
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
moving at the beginning, in 2000.
However
, we can
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see
that the
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number
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people
moving out for adventure
slightly
rose between the whole 15 years, reaching the amount of about 15, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the other case, as shown, from 2010 to 2015 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
steadily
increased, going from 10, 000 in the
first
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year
, to 22, 000 in 2010, and reaching 25, 000 in the last year.

The last
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reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moved
out of their homes to reach the main city is employment. As shown is the graph, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
motivation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a gradual increase between 2000 and 2010, while it experienced a slow decrease during the last 5 years.

All in all, the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
an
overall
upwards trend about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moved
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
city during the period between 2000 and 2015. Studying was the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of this relocation, family/friends and adventure both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a steady and slow rise, while employment at the beginning experienced a consistent increase, despite a fall in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
between 2010 and 2015.
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IELTS academic describe a line chart that shows the motivations people went to live in the capital city

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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