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Describe a good decision you made recently What it was When you made it What the result was And explain how you felt about it

Generally, many home decision makers may be father, elder brother and sometimes mother. Different homes have different stories. I would like to share something of my decision at home. Recently, I purchased a new car. I got a quotation a few months ago. My father was very excited for this car at that time but we have no enough money for that so we decided to take a loan from the bank and the loan amount was 5 lakhs. EMI was 10k so That was very expensive for us to repay. my parents were sad for that situation and I also as well as. I am working in an IT company and I am interested in the share market at that time the share market was too low for COVID-19. In that time the market, company, bank was totally closed so that the share market continuously was going to the low side. I thought of one idea to invest some Rs. In the share market but my father did not agree for that because it was very risky in the share market as per my dad thought. But I convinced him and I were interested in a few rs. Of Around 3 lakhs. After that market and company reopened and the market was going to be Normal so the share market graph is going up side. We invested rs. Was triple in a couple of months. My parents are happy that I made a good decision. After that we have no need to get a loan for the car. I felt very happy for making a good decision for my family and my father was also proud of me.
Generally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
makers may be
Consider using a past participle here: "fathered".
father
, elder brother and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
mother.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
homes have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stories. I would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
something of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
at home.

Recently, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a new car. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a quotation a few months ago. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited for this car at that time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we have no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money for that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we decided to take a loan from the bank and the loan amount was 5 lakhs. EMI was 10k
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
That was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive for us to repay.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
parents were sad for that situation and I
also
as well
as. I am working in an IT
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
company and
I
am interested
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
at that time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
was too low for COVID-19. In that time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, bank was
totally
closed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
continuously
was going to the low side. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Rs. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
for that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
risky in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
as per my dad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I convinced him and I
were interested
in a few rs. Of Around 3 lakhs. After that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
reopened and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
was going to be Normal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
graph is going up side. We invested rs. Was triple in a couple of months. My parents are happy that I made a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
. After that we have no need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a loan for the car. I felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy for making a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
for my family and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
was
also
proud of me.
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IELTS academic Describe a good decision you made recently What it was When you made it What the result was And explain how you felt about it

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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