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Deaths in Someland 1990 (millions) and Medical Research funding in someland (Millions)

Deaths in Someland 1990 (millions) and Medical Research funding in someland (Millions) jDAbL
The bar graphs elucidate the information about the figure of demises in 1990 and medical investigation financing in someland. Overall, it is ostensible that the number of inanimations due to TB was the highest; however, the lowest was true in the case of leprosy throughout the given time period. Moving onto the details, the count of the deceases in Someland because of AIDS was approximately 0. 3 millions, while it was around 0. 1 millions more in terms of leprosy. Subsequently, 0. 4 and 0. 5 were the digits of expirations due to tropical diseases and diarrhoea correspondingly. Interestingly, 1. 8 was the quantum of departures because of TB followed by Malaria with 0. 4. Alternatively, the number of medical exploration financial support in Someland in the field of Leprosy and tropical diseases remained almost intact, and the values were analyzed with approximately 75, 000, 000 each. Shifting attention towards the remaining details, the digit of medical disquisition fundraising for AIDS was comprised of the maximum data with around 180, 000, 000, whereas the minimum was recorded in terms of TB with 25, 000, 000. Additionally, a marginal difference of 10, 000, 000 was witnessed between the figure of medical reconnoiter financial assistance for diarrhoea and malaria, and the data accounted for 60, 000, 000 and 50, 000, 000 respectively.
The bar graphs elucidate the information about the figure of demises in 1990 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
investigation financing in
Possible spelling mistake found.
someland
.

Overall
, it is ostensible that the number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
inanimations
due to TB was the highest;
however
, the lowest was true in the case of leprosy throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period.

Moving onto the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the count of the deceases in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of AIDS was approximately 0. 3 millions, while it was around 0. 1 millions more in terms of leprosy.
Subsequently
, 0. 4 and 0. 5 were the digits of expirations due to tropical diseases and
Possible spelling mistake. 'diarrhoea' is British English.
diarrhoea
correspondingly
.
Interestingly
, 1. 8 was the quantum of departures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of TB followed by Malaria with 0. 4.
Alternatively
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
exploration financial support in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
in the field of Leprosy and tropical diseases remained almost intact, and the values
were analyzed
with approximately 75, 000, 000 each.

Shifting attention towards the remaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the digit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
disquisition fundraising for AIDS
Did you mean "comprised" or "consisted of" or "was composed of"?
was comprised of
the maximum data with around 180, 000, 000, whereas the minimum
was recorded
in terms of TB with 25, 000, 000.
Additionally
, a marginal difference of 10, 000, 000
was witnessed
between the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
reconnoiter financial assistance for
Possible spelling mistake. 'diarrhoea' is British English.
diarrhoea
and malaria, and the data accounted for 60, 000, 000 and 50, 000, 000
respectively
.
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IELTS academic Deaths in Someland 1990 (millions) and Medical Research funding in someland (Millions)

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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