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the bar illustrates the proportion of personality employed workers of the total workforce in Russian, Slovakia, Czech, Greece, and Turkey in 1998 and 2008.

the bar illustrates the proportion of personality employed workers of the total workforce in Russian, Slovakia, Czech, Greece, and Turkey in 1998 and 2008. kLDyW
the bar illustrates the proportion of personality employed workers of the total workforce in Russian, Slovakia, Czech, Greece, and Turkey in 1998 and 2008. it is clear that the number of Turkey was the highest figure however that of Russian ranked the least in 1998 and 2008. The rate of Russia, Slovakia, and Czech tended to increase meanwhile Greece and Turkey witnessed falling. In terms of the two first columns, in 1998 the percentage of Turkey with 55% which was the highest figure followed by the number of Greece took up 42% that ranked the second. However, both the rates declined significantly. The quantity of Turkey from 55% to 39% and that of Greece went down by 7% in 2008. according to the three least columns, in 1998 the number of Russian was about 5% which was less common with Czech and Slovakia at 11% and 6% respectively. The proportion of Russia, Slovakia, and Czech experienced a slight upward trend. The quantity of Russia from 5% in 1998 to 8% in 2008 that of Slovakia went up twofold consisted of 12% and there was minimalism going up to 14% in 2008.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
bar illustrates the proportion of personality employed workers of the total workforce in Russian, Slovakia, Czech, Greece, and Turkey in 1998 and 2008.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the number of Turkey was the highest figure
however
that of Russian ranked the least in 1998 and 2008. The rate of Russia, Slovakia, and Czech tended to increase meanwhile Greece and Turkey witnessed falling.

In terms of the two
first
columns, in 1998 the percentage of Turkey with 55% which was the highest figure followed by the number of Greece took up 42% that ranked the second.
However
, both the rates declined
significantly
. The quantity of Turkey from 55% to 39% and that of Greece went down by 7% in 2008.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
according
to the three least columns, in 1998 the number of Russian was about 5% which was less common with Czech and Slovakia at 11% and 6%
respectively
. The proportion of Russia, Slovakia, and Czech experienced a slight upward trend. The quantity of Russia from 5% in 1998 to 8% in 2008 that of Slovakia went up twofold consisted of 12% and there was minimalism going up to 14% in 2008.
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IELTS academic the bar illustrates the proportion of personality employed workers of the total workforce in Russian, Slovakia, Czech, Greece, and Turkey in 1998 and 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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Lexical Resource: 7.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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