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Data showing birth and death rates of people in New Zealand

Data showing birth and death rates of people in New Zealand d5g12
The graph illustrates data about variations in birth as well as death rates of the people in New Zealand from 1901 to 2101. Overall it is observed that, in the beginning of 19 century death rates were comparatively less than the birth rates. Moreover, by 2101 there is a substantial rise in the death rate whereas, birth rates have correspondence decline. There are many fluctuations noticed throughout this period. When it is comes to death rate, it can be seen that death rates are increasing year after year. From 1901 to 2001 death rate are increasing at very slow pace, but after 2001 till 2021, rates of death are increasing at a very high speed. By this given data, many assumptions are also there, that it will continue to rise in next coming years at an extremely fastest speed. The study also shows variations in the birth rates in New Zealand. It is noticed that birth rates are moving upwards from 1901 to 1961. Among all given years, birth rate was leading in year 1961 and after that rates are start declining at the very slow speed in next years. Data also assumes that birth rates will continuously decline till 2101.
The graph illustrates data about variations in
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birth
as well
as death
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rates
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in New Zealand from 1901 to 2101.

Overall
it
is observed
that, in the beginning of
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19 century
death
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rates
were
comparatively
less than the
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birth
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rates
.
Moreover
, by 2101 there is a substantial rise in the death
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rate
whereas,
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birth
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rates
have correspondence decline. There are
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many
fluctuations noticed throughout this period.

When it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to death
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rate
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that death
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rates
are increasing
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year
after
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year
. From 1901 to 2001 death
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rate
are increasing at
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very
slow pace,
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but
after 2001 till 2021,
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rates
of death are increasing at a
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very
high speed. By this
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given
data,
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many
assumptions are
also
there, that it will continue to rise in
next
coming years at an
extremely
A determiner is probably missing here: "the fastest".
fastest
speed.

The study
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
variations in the
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birth
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rates
in New Zealand. It
is noticed
that
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are moving upwards from 1901 to 1961. Among all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years,
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birth
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rate
was leading in
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year
1961 and after that
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rates
are
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start
declining at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
slow speed in
next
years. Data
also
assumes that
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
will
continuously
decline till 2101.
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IELTS academic Data showing birth and death rates of people in New Zealand

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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