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Crime rates in Newport city during 2003-2012

Crime rates in Newport city during 2003-2012 e31pW
The graph illustrates the progression of three types of crime rates that took place in Newport city during a 9-year period from 2003 to 2012. Overall, the rates in burglary were higher than the others, but the numbers subsequently decreased in 2012. Car theft incidents remained fairly the same over the period. The number of robberies fluctuated before returning to the same number in 2012. Burglary had the highest number of crime rates with cases reaching slightly under 3500 in 2003. This number increased where it reached a peak of roughly 3700 cases in 2004 before decreasing steeply till 2008. The trend however, changed with the number of incidents staying the same till 2012. Meanwhile, car theft incidents were almost same during 2003-2005 representing 2700 cases before experiencing a dip in 2006. This figure, however, increased slightly in 2007 and remained steady till 2009 and subsequently rising again to reach the same number of 2700 cases in 2003. Robbery incidents over the period did not have much change; however, it dipped in 2008 accounting for only 500 cases of robbery. The number of incidents fluctuated between 500 and 1000.
The graph illustrates the progression of three types of crime rates that took place in Newport city during a 9-year period from 2003 to 2012.

Overall
, the rates in burglary were higher than the others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
subsequently
decreased in 2012. Car theft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
remained
fairly
the same over the period. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of robberies fluctuated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
returning to the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
in 2012.

Burglary had the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of crime rates with cases reaching
slightly
under 3500 in 2003. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
increased where it reached a peak of roughly 3700 cases in 2004
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
decreasing
steeply
till 2008. The trend
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
staying the same till 2012.

Meanwhile, car theft
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incidents
were almost same during 2003-2005 representing 2700 cases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
experiencing a dip in 2006. This figure,
however
, increased
slightly
in 2007 and remained steady till 2009 and
subsequently
rising again to reach the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of 2700 cases in 2003.

Robbery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
over the period did not have much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
;
however
, it dipped in 2008 accounting for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
500 cases of robbery. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
fluctuated between 500 and 1000.
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IELTS academic Crime rates in Newport city during 2003-2012

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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