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Consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 3007.

Consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 3007. BlmKa
The line graph compares the daily intake of three different kinds of spreads margarine, low-fat and reduced spreads and butter per person. overall after the introduction of low-fat and reduced spreads into the market, it was the most preferred type of spread at the same time, demand for margarine and butter turn on low. Initially, the butter was the most opted spread approximately 140 g per an individual for a daily for a day in 1981. Its popularity continued till 1986 and reached its peak about 160 g per day. After this there was a gradual downward trend in the utilisation of butter and dropped nearly 55 g per one person in 2007. In 1981 the quantity of margarine used by an individual was around just 95 g and for the next five year it continued as the least opted spread when compared to the better, spent only 80 g for a single person. In 1991 expense of margarine exceeded that of butter around 100 grams per person for one day and its fame persisted steady till 1996 followed by there was a significant fall along with the some fluctuations in the utilisation of migraine between 1996 and 2007. The same declining pattern continued and in 2007, it to remind as the least used eatable among all the other kinds just about the 40 g for person tuning the respectively. On the other hand low low-fat and reduced spreads were not eaten before 1986. After that there was a dramatic surge in the newly introduced spread consumption from 10 g to the maximum of up to 80 g 2001 and experienced only a slight dip just by nearly 10 g in 2007 and noticed as the most consumed spread.
The line graph compares the daily intake of three
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different
kinds of
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spreads
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margarine
, low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
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spreads
and
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butter
per person.

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overall
after the introduction of low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
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spreads
into the market, it was the most preferred type of
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spread
at the same time, demand for
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margarine
and
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butter
turn on low.

Initially
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
was the most opted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
approximately 140 g per an individual for a daily for a day in 1981. Its popularity continued till 1986 and reached its peak about 160 g per day. After this there was a gradual downward trend in the
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utilisation
of
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butter
and dropped
nearly
55 g per one
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person
in 2007.

In 1981 the quantity of
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margarine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by an individual was around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
95 g and for the
next
five year it continued as the least opted
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spread
when compared to the better, spent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
80 g for a single
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person
. In 1991 expense of
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margarine
exceeded that of
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butter
around 100 grams per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
for one day and its fame persisted steady till 1996 followed by there was a significant fall along with the
Did you mean "same"?
some
fluctuations in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of migraine between 1996 and 2007. The

same declining pattern continued and in 2007, it to remind as the least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
eatable among all the other kinds
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just
about the 40 g for
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person
tuning the
respectively
.

On the other hand
low low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
were not eaten
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before
1986. After that there was a dramatic surge in the
newly
introduced
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spread
consumption from 10 g to the maximum of up to 80 g 2001 and experienced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a slight dip
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just
by
nearly
10 g in 2007 and noticed as the most consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
.
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IELTS academic Consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 3007.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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