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Computer ownership as a percentage of population and level of education

Computer ownership as a percentage of population and level of education KWXn1
The bar charts illustrate the percentage of people owning a computer between 2002 and 2010 and the data relationship between computer and education levels. The differences recorded are obtained from 2002 and 2010. In 2002, more than 50% of people owned a computer, which began to rise over the years. The increase was relatively slow; however, a consistent improvement could be seen. At two years interval, the number of ownership increases by two percent. The highest amount of ownership, approximately 75%, is recorded to be in 2010. The percentage of computer ownership varied by people's level of education. A group of people who did not receive a high school diploma possessed the lowest amount of computers. The rank is followed by high school graduates, a group of people who did not finish college and bachelor's degree. Postgraduate qualifiers became the group with the highest computer ownership. Although the two lowest groups created a massive gap between one another, the percentage change decreased as the level of education received by a person was getting better. Not only that, the distinction between 2002 and 2010 data began to be less significant as the education level was improved. Overall, the bar charts depict similar trends with only minor changes from year to year. Apparently, the better the education one received, the greater the percentage of keeping their computer.
The bar charts illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
owning a computer between 2002 and 2010 and the data relationship between computer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
. The differences recorded
are obtained
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2002 to 2010"?
from 2002 and 2010
.

In 2002, more than 50% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
a computer, which began to rise over the years. The increase was
relatively
slow;
however
, a consistent improvement could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. At two years interval, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
increases by two percent. The highest amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
, approximately 75%,
is recorded
to be in 2010.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
varied by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who did not receive a high school diploma possessed the lowest amount of computers. The rank
is followed
by high school graduates, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who did not finish college and bachelor's degree. Postgraduate qualifiers became the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
with the highest computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
. Although the two lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
created a massive gap between one another, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
decreased as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
received by a person was getting better. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, the distinction between 2002 and 2010 data began to be less significant as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

Overall
, the bar charts depict similar trends with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
minor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Apparently
, the better the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
one received, the greater the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of keeping their computer.
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IELTS academic Computer ownership as a percentage of population and level of education

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
225 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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