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Comparison of two maps in present and future

Comparison of two maps in present and future Vy7LQ
The two maps illustrates the present shopping mall and expansion plan of the same mall in Southside near future. Both maps also depicts the nearby area outside the mall at present compare to development plan. Overall the plan is to expand the mall and it's car parking for more stores and parking facilities at the expense of eateries, play area, cinemas and outside land on the east side. At present, Southside mall has Cafe, Play area, Noodle shop, Cinemas on the north side while Supermarket, Entrance and toilet on the south side with department store connected to toilet on the east side. Outside the mall for parking cars there is space present just on the left side of fitness center. On the east side land outside mall is occupied by golf course and Park. According to proposed map Department store expands on the east side on the cost of golf course and park with its own separate entry. On the other hand few fashion stores will be added next to right side of urinal at the present place of Department store while cyber cafe, beauty saloon is placed at the price of cafe and play area. In addition to that two shoe store, gift shop and Cosmetics store will replace Noodle shop and Cinemas.
The two maps illustrates the
present
shopping
mall
and expansion plan of the same
mall
in Southside near future. Both maps
also
depicts the nearby
area
outside
the
mall
at
present
compare to development plan.

Overall
the plan is to expand the
mall
and it's car parking for more
stores
and parking facilities at the expense of eateries, play
area
, cinemas and
outside
land on the east side.

At
present
, Southside
mall
has
Cafe
, Play
area
, Noodle shop, Cinemas on the north side while Supermarket, Entrance and toilet on the south side with department
store
connected to toilet on the east side.
Outside
the
mall
for parking cars there is space
present
just
on the
left
side of fitness center. On the east side land
outside
mall
is occupied
by golf course and Park.

According to proposed map Department
store
expands on the east side on the cost of golf course and park with its
own
separate entry.
On the other hand
few fashion
stores
will be
added
next
to right side of urinal at the
present
place of Department
store
while cyber
cafe
, beauty saloon
is placed
at the price of
cafe
and play
area
.
In addition
to that two shoe
store
, gift shop and Cosmetics
store
will replace Noodle shop and Cinemas.
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IELTS academic Comparison of two maps in present and future

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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