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Comparison of Teachers by Genders

Comparison of Teachers by Genders Gr6Ge
The bar chart gives us the information about the rate of male and female teachers in all types of educational institutions in the United Kingdom in 2010. In early stages of education, we can say that the percentage of women teachers is higher than the men teachers so far. In pre-school, the gap between them is approximately 90%. If we look at the primary school, situation is not so different where women teachers' percentage is 90% and men teachers' percentage is 10% respectively. However, in the next stages, there is quite change from primary school and pre-school. According to given chart, there is a big gap between genders in these stages except university. Such that, the percentages of women and men teachers are equal in college. In secondary school, the percentage of women teachers is slightly higher than the men teachers which are 55% to 45%. As to private training institutes, the case is exact opposite. Besides all these, there is a contrary situation at universities. The percentage of men teacher is highest at university that is given as a 70% and women teachers’ percentage is 30% surely. To sum up briefly, there are big differences between the rates of two genders in early stages and last stage of education. However, in mid-stages, there is no massive disparity, percentages are close to each other.
The bar chart gives us the information about the rate of male and female
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teachers
in all types of educational institutions in the United Kingdom in 2010.

In early
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stages
of education, we can say that the
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percentage
of
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women
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teachers
is higher than the
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men
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teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far. In
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pre-school
, the gap between them is approximately 90%. If we look at the primary school, situation is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
where
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women
teachers'
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percentage
is 90% and
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men
teachers'
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percentage
is 10%
respectively
.

However
, in the
next
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stages
, there is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from primary school and
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pre-school
. According to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
gap between genders in these
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stages
except university. Such that, the
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percentages
of
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women
and
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men
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teachers
are equal in college. In secondary school, the
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percentage
of
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women
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teachers
is
slightly
higher than the
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men
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teachers
which are 55% to 45%. As to private training institutes, the case is exact opposite.

Besides
all these, there is a contrary situation at universities. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is highest at university
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
as a 70% and
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women
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teachers’
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percentage
is 30%
surely
.

To sum up
briefly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
differences between the rates of two genders in early
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stages
and last
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stage
of education.
However
, in mid-stages, there is no massive disparity,
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percentages
are close to each other.
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IELTS academic Comparison of Teachers by Genders

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
224 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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