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World wide usage of water across 3 sectors and water consumption in Brazil vs Congo

World wide usage of water across 3 sectors and water consumption in Brazil vs Congo mLx78
The graph given below shows the division of water consumption across agricultural, industrial and domestic use sectors. The graph shows cubic kilogram usage of water across the above mentioned sectors over a period of 100 years, ranging from 1900 to 2000. There has been an exponential increase in the consumption of water. It is clear from the data that the agricultural industry has been the largest consumer for the entire window of comparison. The utilization of water has increased five folds over the period of a century, most of which can be attributed to the agricultural needs. On the other hand, the industrial and domestic parts were able to able to maintain an almost steady consumption from 1900 to 1950. For the period 1950 to 2000, the industrial branch saw an exponential growth in demand for water resources. During this period, the consumption jumped by nearly 100 per cent, increasing to approximately 1000 km3. In parallel, as the human population increased over time, the domestic usage has also gone up by nearly 50%. When looking at the statistics for the water consumption in Brazil vs Congo, it is apparent that Brazil has a higher per capita consumption. Since Brazil is almost 26. 5 times bigger than Congo and the population is at least 30 times higher, their water utilization would also be in proportion.
The graph
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given
below
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the division of
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water
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consumption
across agricultural, industrial and domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
sectors. The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
cubic kilogram usage of
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water
across the above mentioned sectors over a
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period
of 100 years, ranging from 1900 to 2000.

There has been an exponential increase in the
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consumption
of
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water
. It is
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clear
from the data that the agricultural industry has been the largest consumer for the entire window of comparison. The utilization of
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water
has increased five folds over the
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period
of a century, most of which can
be attributed
to the agricultural needs.

On the other hand
, the industrial and domestic parts were
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able to able to
maintain an almost steady
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consumption
from 1900 to 1950. For the
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period
1950 to 2000, the industrial branch
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saw
an exponential growth in demand for
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water
resources. During this
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period
, the
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consumption
jumped by
nearly
100 per cent, increasing to approximately 1000 km3. In parallel, as the human population increased over time, the domestic usage has
also
gone up by
nearly
50%.

When looking at the statistics for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
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consumption
in Brazil vs Congo, it is apparent that Brazil has a higher per capita
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consumption
. Since Brazil is almost 26. 5 times bigger than Congo and the population is at least 30 times higher, their
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water
utilization would
also
be in proportion.
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IELTS academic World wide usage of water across 3 sectors and water consumption in Brazil vs Congo

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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