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Comparison of population pie chart of Yemen and Italy for year 2000 and for proposed year 2050

Comparison of population pie chart of Yemen and Italy for year 2000 and for proposed year 2050 NmE5b
Above pie charts represents the data about the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 as well as projections for 2050. It is categorised in three parts 0-14 years, 15-59 years and 60+ years respectively. Yemen's population of 0-14 years contributed most as 50, 1% followed by 15-59 years and 60+ year's people with 46. 3% and 3. 6% respectively in 2000 Nevertheless, it changed significantly in 2050 where 15-59 years people Exceeds all with 57. 3%, 37% of 0-14 years people and as same 60+ year's people contributed 5. 7% at last. In Italy 15-59 years, old people contributed the most in population followed by 60+ years and 0-14 years old with percentage of 61. 6%, 24. 1% and 14. 3% in 2000. Where in 2050, 0-14 years old contributed least with 11. 5%. The 60+ years old people contributed 42. 3% doubled as contribution in 2000. Lastly 15-56 years old stands with major contribution of 46. 2%. Overall, In Yemen, The population of adults will be increase, Children's, kids population will be reduce, and old people's population will be increase by 2050. In addition, same pattern is follow by Italy excepting Adults population.
Above pie charts represents the data about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of Yemen and Italy in 2000
as well
as projections for 2050. It is
Possible spelling mistake. 'categorised' is British English.
categorised
in three parts 0-14 years, 15-59 years and 60+ years
respectively
.

Yemen's
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population
of 0-14 years
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contributed
most as 50, 1% followed by 15-59 years and 60+ year's
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people
with 46. 3% and 3. 6%
respectively
in 2000
Nevertheless
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
significantly
in 2050 where 15-59 years
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people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
Exceeds
all with 57. 3%, 37% of 0-14 years
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people
and as same 60+ year's
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people
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contributed
5. 7% at last.

In Italy 15-59 years,
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old
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people
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contributed
the most in
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population
followed by 60+ years and 0-14 years
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old
with percentage of 61. 6%, 24. 1% and 14. 3% in 2000. Where in 2050, 0-14 years
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old
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contributed
least with 11. 5%. The 60+ years
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old
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people
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contributed
42. 3% doubled as contribution in 2000.
Lastly
15-56 years
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old
stands with major contribution of 46. 2%.

Overall
, In Yemen, The
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population
of adults will be increase, Children's, kids
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population
will be
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reduce
, and
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old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
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population
will be increase by 2050.
In addition
, same pattern is follow by Italy excepting Adults
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population
.

IELTS academic Comparison of population pie chart of Yemen and Italy for year 2000 and for proposed year 2050

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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