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compares boys and girls in activities leisure

compares boys and girls in activities leisure eAl2O
This bar chart compares the most popular leisure activities for children in Australia. The graph shows the average hobby of five categories for boys and girls from 5 to 14 years old. Overall, it can be seen that boys are generally spend more time on activities than girls, scoring higher than girls in three out of five activities. Boys and girls have the same percentages when it comes to watching TV or videos. It is clear that watching TV or videos comes top of the list for both boys and girls who share the same percentages, with 100%. Electronic or computer games are the next best hobbies for boys and girls, with an average of around 80% and 60%, respectively. Similarily, the number of boys is higher than girls in bike riding, which was nearly 80% in boys and under 60% in girls. On the other hand, skateboarding or rollerblading and art or craft are not as popular as the above activities. In skateboarding or rollerblading, boys still take the lead, with around 40% more than nearly 20% compared with girls. While in art and craft, the percentages of girls are higher than boys, which are merely 40% and nearly 60%, respectively.
This bar chart compares the most popular leisure
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activities
for children in Australia. The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the average hobby of five categories for
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boys
and
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girls
from 5 to 14 years
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old
.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
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boys
are
generally
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
more time on
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activities
than
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girls
, scoring higher than
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girls
in three out of five
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activities
.
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Boys
and
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girls
have the same percentages when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to watching TV or videos.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that watching TV or videos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
top of the list for both
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boys
and
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girls
who share the same percentages, with 100%. Electronic or computer games are the
next
best hobbies for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
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girls
, with an average of around 80% and 60%,
respectively
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Similarily
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
is higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in bike riding, which was
nearly
80% in
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boys
and under 60% in girls.

On the other hand
, skateboarding or rollerblading and art or craft are not as popular as the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. In skateboarding or rollerblading,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
still
take the lead, with around 40% more than
nearly
20% compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. While in art and craft, the percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
, which are
merely
40% and
nearly
60%,
respectively
.
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IELTS academic compares boys and girls in activities leisure

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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