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Compare the pie chart and represent the idea

Compare the pie chart and represent the idea x8VD1
The pie chart illustrates the average percentage of sodium, saturated fat and sugars present in typical meals which is consumed in the USA if, consumed too much it would affect the health. Overall, sodium and saturated fat were the highest concentration which is consumed during dinner while, adder sugar remains high in snacks. Moreover, nutrients are less eaten in breakfast. Firstly, sodium is the most had nutrient at dinner as well as in lunch that is, 43% and 29% respectively. However, it is only 14% sodium is consumed in the breakfast and snacks time. Mostly, saturated fat is high at dinner then follows at lunch meal where it is 26%, at breakfast it is 10% lower than lunch but 5% more at snacks time. Almost half the total percentage added sugar is present in the snacks whereas, half of it at dinner. Furthermore, approximately the same amount is eaten at breakfast and lunch.
The pie chart illustrates the average percentage of sodium, saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and sugars present in typical meals which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
in the USA if,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
too much it would affect the health.
Overall
, sodium and saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
were the highest concentration which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
while, adder sugar remains high in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
.
Moreover
, nutrients are less eaten in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
.
Firstly
, sodium is the most had nutrient at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
as well
as in lunch
that is
, 43% and 29%
respectively
.
However
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
14% sodium is
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consumed
in the
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breakfast
and
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snacks
time.
Mostly
, saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
is high at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
then follows at lunch meal where it is 26%, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
it is 10% lower than lunch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
5% more at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
time. Almost half the total percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar is present in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
whereas, half of it at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
.
Furthermore
, approximately the same amount
is eaten
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
and lunch.
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IELTS academic Compare the pie chart and represent the idea

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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