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Compare the percentages of travelers to go to work in a country in Europe

Compare the percentages of travelers to go to work in a country in Europe n6xVl
The bar chart gives information the proportion of commuters go to work in a Europe country by four types of transports such as bus, car, bike, and on foot in the year 1950, 1970 and 1990. Overall, it is true that there was a downward trend for the percentage of car users, compared to an increasing trend in the proportion of commuters on foot and by bike. The proportion of bus purchases started at 20% in 1950, then rising to soar to a peak of roughly 20% in 1970 before slightly decreasing to below 20%. On the one hand, a slight decrease of over 25% in the number of walkers was recorded for the period from 35% in 1950 to 10% in 1990; moreover, the figure for bike drivers significantly dropped from below 30% in 1950 to more than 5%. There was a dramatic increase in the number of car drivers from approximately 7% in 1950 to 25% in 1970, and then shooting up to a peak of nearly 37% in the year 1990.
The bar chart gives information the proportion of commuters go to work in a Europe country by four types of transports such as bus, car, bike, and on foot in the year 1950, 1970 and 1990.

Overall
, it is true that there was a downward trend for the percentage of car users, compared to an increasing trend in the proportion of commuters on foot and by bike.

The proportion of bus
purchases
started
at 20% in 1950, then rising to soar to a peak of roughly 20% in 1970
before
slightly
decreasing to below 20%.

On the one hand, a slight decrease of over 25% in the number of walkers
was recorded
for the period from 35% in 1950 to 10% in 1990;
moreover
, the figure for bike drivers
significantly
dropped from below 30% in 1950 to more than 5%. There was a dramatic increase in the number of car drivers from approximately 7% in 1950 to 25% in 1970, and then shooting up to a peak of
nearly
37% in the year 1990.
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IELTS academic Compare the percentages of travelers to go to work in a country in Europe

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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