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coffee producer in 4 country

coffee producer in 4 country gqqYa
The bar chart illustrates the information on four coffee producers worldwide, namely Brazil, Vietnam, Indonesia, and Colombia from 2011 to 2013. In general, it is easy to see that the largest coffee producer was Brazil and in fourth place was Colombia. In 2011, the amount of coffee produced in Brazil was about 43000 units, almost double that of Vietnam which was in second place with about 23000 units. Meanwhile the share of production in Vietnam is twice as high as that of Indonesia and Colombia in the third and fourth place. Brazil continued to maintain its first position and even increased to more than 5000 units produced in 2012. Coffee production in Indonesia and Colombia also increased slightly this year. Only in Vietnam, it decreased slightly to 21000 units but still kept the second position. Colombia did not have a clear change between 2011 and 2012. The ranking is still maintained the same in the following year. Brazil saw a slight decrease in production volume, approximately 50000 units. Coffee production in Vietnam also increased and reached the milestone of 28000 units produced, which is the highest level in 3 years. Coffee production in Indonesia has only increased slightly. And Colombia has produced almost the same amount of coffee as Indonesia after only one year.
The bar chart illustrates the information on four
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coffee
producers worldwide,
namely
Brazil, Vietnam, Indonesia, and Colombia from 2011 to 2013.

In general
, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
producer was Brazil and in fourth place was Colombia.

In 2011, the amount of
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coffee
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produced
in Brazil was about 43000
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units
, almost double that of Vietnam which was in second place with about 23000
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units
.
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Meanwhile
the share of
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production
in Vietnam is twice as high as that of Indonesia and Colombia in the third and fourth place.

Brazil continued to maintain its
first
position and even
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increased
to more than 5000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
in 2012.
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Coffee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
in Indonesia and Colombia
also
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increased
slightly
this
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year
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
in Vietnam, it decreased
slightly
to 21000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
the second position.

Colombia did not have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
between 2011 and 2012.

The ranking is
still
maintained the same in the following
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year
. Brazil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a slight decrease in
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production
volume, approximately 50000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Coffee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
in Vietnam
also
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increased
and reached the milestone of 28000
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units
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
, which is the highest level in 3 years.
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Coffee
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production
in Indonesia has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
slightly
. And Colombia has
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produced
almost the same amount of
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coffee
as Indonesia after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic coffee producer in 4 country

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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