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Coffee and tea drinking habits in 5 Australian cities

Coffee and tea drinking habits in 5 Australian cities lRGXo
The bar chart show the drinking habits in 5 Australian cities as they relate to coffee and tea in the last 4 weak. Overall more than half the population of the cities went to a café for coffee or tea except Adelaide. First of all, at going to cafes, it was most characteristic of Melbourne and Hobart at 64% and 63% respectively. Sydney was comparably high just above 60%, followed by Brisbane at over 55% and finally Adelaide at under 10%. Adelaide was the only city where people bought more instant coffee at just 50%. In Hobart, instant coffee purchases stood at 54%, ahead of Brisbane at 52%, Melbourne at 48% and lastly Sydney just over 45% Stocking up on fresh coffee was below 45% for all cities. It was common in Sydney about 44% and Melbourne at 42%. Hobart was next at 39%, and Adelaide and Brisbane were much lower and around about 34%
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the drinking habits in 5 Australian
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cities
as they relate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and tea in the last 4 weak.
Overall
more than half the population of the
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cities
went to a café for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or tea except Adelaide.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, at going to
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
, it was most characteristic of Melbourne and Hobart at 64% and 63%
respectively
. Sydney was
comparably
high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 60%, followed by Brisbane at over 55% and
finally
Adelaide at under 10%. Adelaide was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
city where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
more instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
50%. In Hobart, instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
stood at 54%, ahead of Brisbane at 52%, Melbourne at 48% and
lastly
Sydney
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 45%

Stocking up on fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
was below 45% for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. It was common in Sydney about 44% and Melbourne at 42%. Hobart was
next
at 39%, and Adelaide and Brisbane were much lower and around about 34%
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IELTS academic Coffee and tea drinking habits in 5 Australian cities

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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