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Clowick Arts Centre in 2005 and today

Clowick Arts Centre in 2005 and today J0doE
The two maps demonstrate changes to the campus of Clowick between 2005 and today. We can see that the Arts Centre made many changes during this period, including new buildings. In the past Concert hall and Cinema were built in the middle of Clowick. However, today they are built in the northern west of Arts Centre. Clowick is added Drama Studio. The Arts Centre are created Central Exhibition Area. In the past Gallery was developed in the western of the campus, today it is developed right-hand corner of the campus. In 2005 there was an empty area of outside of the campus. Trees are planted there and an outdoor exhibition Area is made. So, it is shown that Clowick Arts Centre is move glamorous today and has better facilities than in 2005.
The two maps demonstrate
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changes
to the
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campus
of
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Clowick
between 2005 and
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today
. We can
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see
that the
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Arts
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
made
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
during this period, including new buildings. In the past Concert hall and Cinema
were built
in the middle of
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Clowick
.
However
,
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today
they
are built
in the northern west of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
.
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Clowick
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
Drama Studio. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
are created
Central Exhibition Area. In the past Gallery
was developed
in the western of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
it
is developed
right-hand corner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
. In 2005 there was an empty area of
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
. Trees
are planted
there and an outdoor exhibition Area
is made
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it
is shown
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Clowick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
glamorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
and has better facilities than in 2005.

IELTS academic Clowick Arts Centre in 2005 and today

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
132 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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