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Climate change impacts in thal region

Climate change impacts in thal region 7L17Y
Background: Climate change dramatically changes the agricultural dynamics in rain fed areas of Pakistan. Area under culturable waste lands increases with passage of time due to increase in depth of underground water, inefficient use of irrigation water, low frequency of precipitation and energy shortfalls in national grids. Ongoing agricultural problems in rain-fed areas of Pakistan are big concern of food security. This situation may lead towards the decrease in agricultural output and other issues like poverty and shift from agriculture to other occupations. Considering the ground level circumstances and climate related problems in rain fed areas of Pakistan. Hi-Path project aimed to equip the local farmers with energy and water efficient technologies. Adoption of energy and water efficient technologies was a big concern. Major steps were needed for the adoption and usage of these technologies at ground level. To facilitate the adoption process according to needs of local farmers Hi-Path has been initiated. Project promoted the production of technology at micro level to meet demands of local people, groups, and organizations. Hi-Path also accelerate the behavioural changes regrading the adoption of technology among famers, manufacturers of agricultural equipment and public organizations by conducting orientation sessions. These sessions provide opportunity for local stakeholder to observer energy and water efficient technologies physically and virtually by means of social media. Moreover, development of pilot sites and conducting trainings for the awareness of local farmers regarding the usage of advance technologies plays important role in adoption.
Background:

Climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
dynamics in rain fed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of Pakistan.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Area
under
Possible spelling mistake found.
culturable
waste lands increases with passage of time due to increase in depth of underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, inefficient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of irrigation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, low frequency of precipitation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
shortfalls in national grids. Ongoing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
problems in rain-fed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of Pakistan are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
concern of food security. This situation may lead towards the decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
output and other issues like poverty and shift from agriculture to other occupations.

Considering the ground level circumstances and climate related problems in rain fed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of Pakistan. Hi-Path project aimed to equip the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmers with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Adoption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
concern. Major steps
were needed
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adoption
and usage of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
at ground level. To facilitate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adoption
process according to needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmers Hi-Path has
been initiated
. Project promoted the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
at micro level to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
demands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, groups, and organizations. Hi-Path
also
accelerate the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
regrading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adoption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
among
Possible spelling mistake found.
famers
, manufacturers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
equipment and public organizations by conducting orientation sessions. These sessions provide opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stakeholder to observer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
physically
and
virtually
by means of social media.
Moreover
, development of pilot sites and conducting trainings for the awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmers regarding the usage of advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adoption
.
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IELTS academic Climate change impacts in thal region

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
242 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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