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cinema attendance by age group

cinema attendance by age group ApOr1
The line graph illustrates the percentage of China’s population by age group between 1960 and 2050. It is clear that the proportion of Chinese from 15 to 64 years old reach the peak. It is also noticeable that the data for people 15-to-64-year-olds and over 65 years old increase sharply, while the percentage of the young who fall into 0 to 14 age group decrease rapidly. In 1960, the proportion of children in China between 0 to 14 years old was highest, at around 42%, followed by the figures for Chinese aged 15 to 64 and over 65 years old, at nearly 37% and 5% respectively. Thirty years later, the data for people over 65 age group witnessed a remained unchanged. Whereas, there was an abrupt rise in the percentage of China’s population 15-to-64-year-olds, reaching about 58%, whilst the proportion of Chinese aged 0 to 14 saw a significant dip, at roughly 35%. In 2020, the percentage of people in China from 15 to 65 years old seemed to increase markedly, with its figure being at a high record of around 70%. In 2050, the proportion of China’s population aged 15 to 64 is predicted decline suddenly, standing at nearly 52. 6%. At the same time, the data for people 0-to-14-year-olds is expected drop gradually, at around 17. 5%, while there is forecasted to rose dramatically in, the percentage of Chinese over 65 years old, reaching roughly 25%.
The line graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of China’s population by age group between 1960 and 2050. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of Chinese from 15 to 64 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
reach the peak. It is
also
noticeable that the data for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
15-to-64-year-olds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
65 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
increase
sharply
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the young who fall into 0 to 14 age group decrease
rapidly
.

In 1960, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of children in China
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 0 and 14".
between 0 to 14
years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
was highest, at around 42%, followed by the figures for Chinese aged 15 to 64 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
65 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, at
nearly
37% and 5%
respectively
. Thirty years later, the data for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
65 age group witnessed a remained unchanged. Whereas, there was an abrupt rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of China’s population 15-to-64-year-olds, reaching about 58%, whilst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of Chinese aged 0 to 14
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant dip, at roughly 35%.

In 2020, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in China from 15 to 65 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
seemed to increase
markedly
, with its figure being at a high record of around 70%. In 2050, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of China’s population aged 15 to 64
is predicted
decline
suddenly
, standing at
nearly
52. 6%. At the same time, the data for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
0-to-14-year-olds is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
drop
gradually
, at around 17. 5%, while there
is forecasted
to rose
dramatically
in, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
65 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, reaching roughly 25%.
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IELTS academic cinema attendance by age group

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
238 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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