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Children of different ages and countries play computer games these days. Parents think these computer games have little educational value and have harmful effects on children. What is your opinion?

Children of different ages and countries play computer games these days. Parents think these computer games have little educational value and have harmful effects on children. What is your opinion? OM85N
Nowadays, computer games are trending among youngsters and children. Videogames are hardly provide educational benefit otherwise video games have harmful effects on children. I agree with this statement. Mostly video games are not helpful for educational purposes. But some video games are helpful to education like team games so in team games need to follow a command and try to win a game with the team. Children are learned to follow a command and coordinate with the other people. So they are work with the team member and try to solve a complex problem and team spirit to done a work together. For example, in a football game every players have to follow a command and learn to cooperating the team member if you have wish to win because in this kind of games one player is not win. On the flip side, most of the video games have negative impact on children. Today`s games are highly addictive; game developers are given some rewards so children are attract to the game. They are given a score table and show a other player score table so children are trying to score more than other players. They are playing games for a long hour to score higher than other players. Playing for long hours it is causing some health issues like obesity and eyes problem. Especially children are not focus on the academic carrier and they are failed in the academic subject because they are distracted with the games. To conclude, in my opinion, video games have little education values and most of the games are not helpful in education. Video games are distract children and they are not focus on academic study.
Nowadays, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are trending among youngsters and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Videogames
are hardly
Consider using a past participle here: "provided".
provide
educational benefit
otherwise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have harmful effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

Mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are not helpful for educational purposes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are helpful to education like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
need to follow a command and try to win a game with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are learned
to follow a command and coordinate with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they are work with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
member and try to solve a complex problem and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
spirit
Did you mean "to do"?
to done
a work together.
For example
, in a football game every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "player"?
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow a command and learn to cooperating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
member if you have wish to win
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
is not win.

On the flip side, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
The character between 'Today' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "Today’s" (curly apostrophe) or "Today's" (straight apostrophe).
Today`s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
highly
addictive; game developers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rewards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
Consider using a past participle here: "attracted".
attract
to the game. They are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
score
table and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
score
table
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
score
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. They are playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for a long hour to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
score
higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. Playing for long hours it is causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health issues like obesity and eyes problem.
Especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not focus on the academic
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
carrier and
they
are failed
in the academic subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are distracted
with the games.

To conclude
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
education values and most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are not helpful in education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are distract
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they are not focus on academic study.
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IELTS academic Children of different ages and countries play computer games these days. Parents think these computer games have little educational value and have harmful effects on children. What is your opinion?

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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