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Australian men and women analysis

Australian men and women analysis 0nNjq
The bar chart shows information that are related to regular physical activityin the year 2010. The activities are done by different age groups of men and women from Australia. There are 6 age groups distribution in total. The highest percentage of physical activity was done by Female group aged between45 to 54. The chart shows that men, on the other hand who are between 15 to 24does a lot of physical activities. It is evident that, physical activity's percentageincreases among the age group of men ranging from 25 and above. Considering both the age groups, it is clear that percentage ofphysical activity between people who are over 65 and above remain nearly same. As age increases the percentage of physical activities also increases in women. Men group who are between 35 to 44 secures very less percent in physical activities. In all age groups of women, there is no group that are less than 45 percent in physicalactivities. These analysis summarizes that women work hard than men in Australia. Considering all the facts of age groups between men and women, there is no two same group with same percent of physical activity.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
information that
are related
to regular
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physical
Possible spelling mistake found.
activityin
the year 2010. The
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activities
are done
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from Australia. There are 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
distribution in total.

The highest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
was done
by Female
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group
aged between45 to 54. The chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
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men
,
on the other hand
who are between 15 to 24does
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. It is evident that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity's
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentageincreases
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
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men
ranging from 25 and above.

Considering both the
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age
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groups
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that percentage
Possible spelling mistake found.
ofphysical
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activity
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are over 65 and above remain
nearly
same.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
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age
increases the percentage of
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physical
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activities
also
increases in women.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
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group
who are
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 35 and 44".
between 35 to 44
secures
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very
less percent in
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physical
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activities
. In all
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age
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groups
of
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women
, there is no
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group
that are less than 45 percent in
Possible spelling mistake found.
physicalactivities
.
Did you mean "this analysis" or "These analyses"?
These analysis
summarizes that
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women
work
Use "harder" to make a comparison with this adjective.
hard
than
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men
in Australia.

Considering all the facts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, there is no two same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
with same percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
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IELTS academic Australian men and women analysis

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
192 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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