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Changes that took place in in Youngsville in New Zealand over a 25-year period

Changes that took place in in Youngsville in New Zealand over a 25-year period 9lOlw
The map shows the developments which took place in Youngsville in New Zealand between 1980 and 2005. In 1980, the town was much greener, full of trees, and individual houses but after several years, town facilities has changed. The main fact is that most of the trees were cut down in the living area, but not only this is the problem but also instead of houses, there are many skyscrapers and warehouses. It is worth pointing out that in the park, in 2005 there are much fewer trees than it was in 1980, and it is one of the biggest problems during 25 years. Overall, it is clear that these two maps are completely opposite. Comparing them we can see that the urban landscape changed into a largely rural place.
The map
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the developments which took place in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youngsville
in New Zealand between 1980 and 2005.

In 1980, the town was much greener, full of trees, and individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after several years, town facilities has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. The main fact is that most of the trees were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down in the living area,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this is the problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
skyscrapers and warehouses.

It is worth pointing out that in the park, in 2005 there are much fewer trees than it was in 1980, and it is one of the biggest problems during 25 years.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that these two maps are completely opposite. Comparing them we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the urban landscape
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
into a
largely
rural place.

IELTS academic Changes that took place in in Youngsville in New Zealand over a 25-year period

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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