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changes that have occurred in Templeton, a sea side resort

changes that have occurred in Templeton, a sea side resort GlqMo
The maps illustrate the changes that have occurred in Templeton, a sea side resort, over a 10-year period beginning in 1990 and ending 1n 2005. All in All, the most significant change is the replacement of many green areas with several major infrastructure projects. To begin, there were several major changes to transport in the town. An airport has been built beside the river on the outskirt of the town. in addition to this, a ferry port has been constructed on the far east coastline, with a new railway extension line passing the ferry port, continuing along the coast and crossing over a new bridge, so it connects to the west side of the town. There have been changes to the business sector in Templeton. A factory can be seen in the south east of the town behind the new railway line, and a supermarket has been built over the river in the west of Templeton, running alongside a new road. The residential landscape has been also altered, particularly on the west side of the town, where large apartment blocks stand in place of the houses.
The maps illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
that have occurred in Templeton, a sea side resort, over a 10-year period beginning in 1990 and ending 1n 2005.

All in All, the most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is the replacement of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
green areas with several major infrastructure projects.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there were several major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
to transport in the
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town
. An airport has
been built
beside the river on the outskirt of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition to this, a ferry port has
been constructed
on the far east coastline, with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railway extension line passing the ferry port, continuing along the coast and crossing over a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
bridge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it connects to the west side of the town.

There have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
to the business sector in Templeton. A factory can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
south east
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railway line, and a supermarket has
been built
over the river in the west of Templeton, running alongside a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
road.

The residential landscape has been
also
altered,
particularly
on the west side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, where large apartment blocks stand in place of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
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IELTS academic changes that have occurred in Templeton, a sea side resort

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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