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Changes in UK birth rate

Changes in UK birth rate jRQ18
The line graph illustrates data about the changes in the birth rate of UK women in 6 age groups between 1973 and 2008. Overall, it can be seen that the birth rates decreased among women under 20 and between 20 ans 29. The birth rates also declined among women aged over 40. Looking at the details, in 1973, the highest births - 140 per 1000 people in the population was recorded among women between 25-29. The figures were 125 and 60 for women aged 20-25 and under 20, respectively. Over the time period covered by the graph, there was a decline in the birth rate among women in these three age groups. For example, in 2008, after fluctuating occasionally, the birth rate for women of the 25-29 age group fell to 120, and the figure for under 20 age group was 40. In contrast, the birth rate among women aged between 30-39 saw an increase over the 35-year period. The figure for the 30-35 age group rose from 72 in 1973 to 85 in 2008. In the same period, the birth rates among women between 35-39 also rose from 40 to 62 by the end of 2008.
The line graph illustrates data about the
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changes
in the
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birth
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rate
of UK
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women
in 6
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age
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groups
between 1973 and 2008.

Overall
, it can be
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seen
that the
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birth
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rates
decreased among
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women
under 20 and between 20 ans 29. The
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birth
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rates
also
declined among
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women
aged over 40. Looking at the
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details
, in 1973, the highest
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births
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
140 per 1000
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people
in the population
was recorded
among
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women
between 25-29. The figures were 125 and 60 for
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women
aged 20-25 and under 20,
respectively
. Over the time period covered by the graph, there was a decline in the
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birth
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rate
among
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women
in these three
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age
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groups
.
For example
, in 2008, after fluctuating
occasionally
, the
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birth
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rate
for
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women
of the 25-29
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age
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group
fell to 120, and the figure for under 20
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age
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group
was 40.

In contrast
, the
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birth
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rate
among
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women
aged between 30-39
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saw
an increase over the 35-year period. The figure for the 30-35
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age
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group
rose from 72 in 1973 to 85 in 2008. In the same period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
between 35-39
also
rose from 40 to 62 by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2008.

IELTS academic Changes in UK birth rate

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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