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Changes in food consumption in Great Britain

The graph is showing the consumed value between fresh fruit, sugar and ice cream in Great Britain from 1975 to 2000. Overall, the consumption rise over the years but only the usage of sugar become fewer. In 1975, the consumption of fresh fruit stood at 500 grams. It had rose to 600 grams in 1980, nevertheless, it returned to a similar value to 1975 in 1985. The amount of fresh fruit consumed increased again and reached a peak in 2000. Unlike the fresh fruit, the usage of sugar drop from less than 400 garms in 1975 to 100 garms in 2000. The decreasing trend never stopped. In constrast, ice cream had an upward trend. Although it increased slightly, it still did not overtake sugar in 2000, which was around 100 garm.
The graph is showing the consumed value between
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fresh
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fruit
,
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sugar
and ice cream in Great Britain from 1975 to 2000.
Overall
, the consumption rise over the years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the usage of
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sugar
become fewer.

In 1975, the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
stood at 500 grams. It had
Use the past participle “risen” after the modal (auxiliary) verb ‘had’.
rose
to 600 grams in 1980,
nevertheless
, it returned to a similar value to 1975 in 1985. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
consumed increased again and reached a peak in 2000.

Unlike the
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fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruit
, the usage of
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sugar
drop from less than 400
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garms
in 1975 to 100
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garms
in 2000. The decreasing trend never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.

In
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constrast
, ice cream had an upward trend. Although it increased
slightly
, it
still
did not overtake
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sugar
in 2000, which was around 100
Possible spelling mistake found.
garm
.
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IELTS academic Changes in food consumption in Great Britain

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
131 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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