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Causes of worldwide land degradation and causes of land degredation by region

Causes of worldwide land degradation and causes of land degredation by region dopKP
The pie chart shows us the three main causes of worldwide land degradation. And the table shows us the proportion of three reasons of land degredation by three rigion in the 1990s. From the chart, we could clearly draw a conclusion that there were three root causes resulting land degradation throughtout the globe, over-grazing, deforestation and over-cultivation. Over-grazing take up the biggest proportion, reaching 35%, followed by deforestation and over-cultivation, which are 30% and 28% respectively. other reasons only occupied 7%. From the figures it was shown in the table, Europe was facing the most severe degradation among the three regions in total of 23% while only 5% of total land degradation happened in North America. it was clear to explain why the Europe was confronted wiht most severe degradation among the three regions that the percentage of two main reason, deforestaion 9. 8% and over-cultication 7. 7% were significally higher than that two proportion of North America and Oceania which were respectively 0. 2% and 3. 3% in North America and 1. 7% and nill in Ocenia. Oceania's total proprotion of degratation was next to the Europe's, Whereas over-grazing was the root cause of national degradation, taking up 11. 3%.
The pie chart
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shows
us the three main causes of worldwide
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land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degradation
. And the table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us the proportion of three reasons of
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land
Possible spelling mistake found.
degredation
by three
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rigion
in the 1990s.

From the chart, we could
clearly
draw a conclusion that there were three root causes resulting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degradation
Possible spelling mistake found.
throughtout
the globe, over-grazing, deforestation and over-cultivation. Over-grazing take up the biggest proportion, reaching 35%, followed by deforestation and over-cultivation, which are 30% and 28%
respectively
.
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other
reasons
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only
occupied 7%.

From the figures it
was shown
in the table, Europe was facing the most severe
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degradation
among the three regions in total of 23% while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degradation
happened in North America.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why the Europe
was confronted
Possible spelling mistake found.
wiht
most severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degradation
among the three regions that the percentage of two main reason,
Possible spelling mistake found.
deforestaion
9. 8% and
Possible spelling mistake found.
over-cultication
7. 7% were
Possible spelling mistake found.
significally
higher than that two proportion of North America and Oceania which were
respectively
0. 2% and 3. 3% in North America and 1. 7% and
Possible spelling mistake found.
nill
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ocenia
. Oceania's total
Possible spelling mistake found.
proprotion
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
degratation
was
next
to the Europe's, Whereas over-grazing was the root cause of national
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degradation
, taking up 11. 3%.
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IELTS academic Causes of worldwide land degradation and causes of land degredation by region

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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