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describe a graph that shows average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, globalisers and non-globalisers.

describe a graph that shows average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, globalisers and non-globalisers. MM3RQ
The given bar chart, demonstrates the average rate of domestic products in different nations, categorized into three groups, wealthy countries, globalisers and non-globalisers. As it's obvious from the graph, wealthy nations reached the highest average rate, about 5% in 1960s, however they experienced a significant drop between 1960s and 1990s and fell to 2%. On the other hand, developing countries that had a global approach, had an upward trend during this period and growth from about 1% to nearly 5%. this nation reached the highest rate of domestic products among two other nations in 1990s. we can infer from the graph that the GDP rate in developing countries adopting a non-global approach, fluctuated during these year and they showed their top production rate in 1970s. Also, it is noticeable that in that time, all three nations had an about same GDP. In conclusion, as the graph illustrates, adopting a global approach to business will improve the domestic productions.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart, demonstrates the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of domestic products in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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nations
, categorized into three groups, wealthy countries,
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globalisers
and
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non-globalisers
. As it's obvious from the graph, wealthy
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nations
reached the highest average
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rate
, about 5%
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1960s".
in 1960s
,
however
they experienced a significant drop between 1960s and 1990s and fell to 2%.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
that had a global approach, had an upward trend during this period and growth from about 1% to
nearly
5%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
reached the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of domestic products among two other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1990s".
in 1990s
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
can infer from the graph that the GDP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
adopting a non-global approach, fluctuated during
Did you mean "this year" or "these years"?
these year
and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
their top production
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1970s".
in 1970s
.
Also
, it is noticeable that in that time, all three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
had an about same GDP.

In conclusion
, as the graph illustrates, adopting a global approach to business will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the domestic productions.
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IELTS academic describe a graph that shows average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, globalisers and non-globalisers.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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