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Car ownersip incressed past 30 year cause traffic jam ploblem.

Car ownersip incressed past 30 year cause traffic jam ploblem. VEMrA
Currently, the number of car ownership are significantly increasing in the past three decades, so that leads to traffic jam problems in many cities. by the way, the government must find the solution to solve this problem. In these cases, there have so many ways to fix this problem. First of all, we should admit the root of this problem is the insufficient number of public transport then people were decided to buy their own cars in the last decade. After that amount of people who own their vehicle are dramatically rising, that cause the traffic jam problem occur in the last 30 years. However, This problem can be solved easily by developing the administrator who controls the public transport system such as adding passenger capacity by increasing the number of vehicles and increased the quality of public transport to meet the people's demand. From my perspective, this solution method will undoubtedly figure out this problem. Although this solution requires long time development for the overall public transport system. As result, everything will be better such as less air pollution, life quality, and happiness index. In summary, this problem occurs by the root so, we should analyze to find the initial solution then we will found the public transport is the main problem, that why our government should focus to treat this point first then we can solve the consequence. In my point of view, I am strongly confident this is the most proper troubleshooting method that can secure this problem clearly.
Currently
, the number of car ownership are
significantly
increasing in the past three decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that leads to traffic jam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
by
the way, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. In these cases, there have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, we should admit the root of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is the insufficient number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were decided
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cars in the last decade. After that amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their vehicle are
dramatically
rising, that cause the traffic jam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
occur in the last 30 years.
However
, This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be solved
easily
by developing the administrator who controls the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system such as adding passenger capacity by increasing the number of vehicles and increased the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's demand. From my perspective, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
method will
undoubtedly
figure out this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. Although this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
requires long time development for the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system. As result, everything will be better such as less air pollution, life quality, and happiness index. In summary, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
occurs by the root
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, we should analyze to find the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
then we will
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
found
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, that why our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should focus to treat this point
first
then we can solve the consequence. In my point of view, I am
strongly
confident this is the most proper troubleshooting method that can secure this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
clearly
.
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IELTS academic Car ownersip incressed past 30 year cause traffic jam ploblem.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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