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british student able o speak languages other than English

british student able o speak languages other than English L98V8
These pie charts illustrated the languages which British students spoke in addition to English in 2000 and 2010. Generally, Spanish was the language which a large number of students spoke in 2000 and 2010. Despite, German was spoken only 10% in both years. Spanish was spoken about 30% in 2000 by British students. Moreover, the second famous language was French with 15% of speakers. This number was valid for pupils speaking other languages except for French, German and Spanish. As the charts show, 10% of British students speak two other languages, and 20% of British students only speak English. On the other hand, in 2010 like in 2000 Spanish was the most popular language among British students. In addition, students who spoke French and German was 10%. Obviously, the range of pupils who spoke two other languages became wide compared to the year 2000, and 15% of students spoke two other languages. Furthermore, students speaking just English decreased and it was only 10% of the population.
These pie charts illustrated the
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languages
which British
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students
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spoke
in addition
to English in 2000 and 2010.

Generally
, Spanish was the
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language
which
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
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students
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spoke
in 2000 and 2010. Despite, German
was spoken
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only
10% in both years.

Spanish
was spoken
about 30% in 2000 by British
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students
.
Moreover
, the second
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famous
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language
was French with 15% of speakers. This number was valid for pupils speaking
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other
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languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
French, German and Spanish. As the charts
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show
, 10% of British
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students
speak two
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other
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languages
, and 20% of British
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
speak English.

On the
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other
hand, in 2010 like in 2000 Spanish was the most popular
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language
among British
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students
.
In addition
,
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students
who
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spoke
French and German was 10%.
Obviously
, the range of pupils who
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spoke
two
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
became wide compared to the year 2000, and 15% of
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students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spoke
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Furthermore
,
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students
speaking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
English decreased and it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of the population.
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IELTS academic british student able o speak languages other than English

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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