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Brighton Co-ed Secondary School

Brighton Co-ed Secondary School aJlEd
The table shows the information about student enrolments at Brighton Co-ed Secondary School in the years 1990, 2000 and 2010. According to the table, in 2010 the enrolment was at full capacity with 3400 students. The number of enrolments dramatically increased from 800 to 3400 in 20 years. The difference in percentages of females and males was constantly gapping with a downfall in females whereas males were at the peak. Percentage of students residing within 5 miles of Brighton and Hover, and percentage of overseas students from EU were almost corresponding to each other each year. While the percentage of overseas students coming from the rest of the world started to rose significantly from 0% to 24%. And the overall percentage of overseas students grew rapidly from 5% to 25%. Overall, in 2010, the number of students enrolled reached a peak of 3400 and the overall percentage of overseas students accomplished its target. From 1990 to 2010, the percentage of females dropped off 11%.
The table
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shows
the information about
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student
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
at Brighton Co-ed Secondary School in the years 1990, 2000 and 2010.

According to the table, in 2010 the
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
was at full capacity with 3400
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students
. The number of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
dramatically
increased from 800 to 3400 in 20 years. The difference in
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percentages
of females and males was
constantly
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gapping
with a downfall in females whereas males were at the peak.

Percentage of
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students
residing within
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5 miles
of Brighton and Hover, and
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percentage
of
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overseas
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students
from EU were almost corresponding to each other each year.

“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the
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percentage
of
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overseas
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students
coming from the rest of the world
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started
to rose
significantly
from 0% to 24%. And the
overall
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percentage
of
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overseas
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students
grew
rapidly
from 5% to 25%.

Overall
, in 2010, the number of
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students
enrolled reached a peak of 3400 and the
overall
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percentage
of
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overseas
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students
accomplished its target. From 1990 to 2010, the
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percentage
of females dropped off 11%.
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IELTS academic Brighton Co-ed Secondary School

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
164 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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