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Breakdown of cost of 2012 London Olympics in billion of pounds

Breakdown of cost of 2012 London Olympics in billion of pounds LGXdV
The pie graph depicts the distribution of expense for organization the Olympics in London in 2012. Overall, there were eight main areas of expense. The cost spending to security was the greatest, while the smallest belonged to media centre. According to this pie chart, £2. 54 billion of pounds budget was spent to Security, while the payment for Staging events was £2. 30. Moreover, Site preparation and Construction of sporting venues were also very significant costs at £1. 82 billion and £1. 11 billion respectively. There were four more items that all cost a similar amount of less than one million pounds. Olympic village, Olympic park projects and finally transport expensed just under £0. 9 billion pounds. Specially, Media centre just cost £0. 30 billion of spending on Olympic in London, compared with £10. 8 billion of the total budget.
The pie graph depicts the distribution of expense for organization the Olympics in London in 2012.

Overall
, there were eight main areas of expense. The
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cost
spending to security was the greatest, while the smallest belonged to media
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.

According to this pie chart, £2. 54
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billion
of pounds budget
was spent
to Security, while the payment for Staging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
was £2. 30.
Moreover
, Site preparation and Construction of sporting venues were
also
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very
significant
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costs
at £1. 82
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billion
and £1. 11
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billion
respectively
.

There were four more items that all
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cost
a similar amount of less than one million pounds. Olympic village, Olympic park projects and
finally
transport expensed
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just
under £0. 9
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billion
pounds.
Specially
, Media
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
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cost
£0. 30
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billion
of spending on Olympic in London, compared with £10. 8
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billion
of the total budget.

IELTS academic Breakdown of cost of 2012 London Olympics in billion of pounds

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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