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Boy's cultural and leisure activities : basketball 26%, soccer 17%, reading 2%, computer games 34% , Kate boarding 11% , listening to music 10% . Girls cultural activities and leisure activities : dance 27% , gymnastics 11% , reading 21%, computer games 16% ,netball 15% ,listening to music 10%

Boy's cultural and leisure activities: basketball 26%, soccer 17%, reading 2%, computer games 34%, Kate boarding 11%, listening to music 10%. Girls cultural activities and leisure activities: dance 27%, gymnastics 11%, reading 21%, computer games 16%, netball 15%, listening to music 10% alRKG
The two charts draw a conclusion of a survey on Boy's and Girl's cultural and leisure activities. Overall, the boys and girls who enjoy listening to music are 10% that is they are equal in numbers. Moving to the first pie chart it is observed that the majority of boys enjoy playing computer games. Basket ball is considered to be second most popular leisure among the boys. Basket ball is then followed by soccer. 17% of boys like to play soccer. Kate boarding and listening to music is less preferable among the boys, that is 11%. And 10 % respectively. The lowest prefered activity is Reading. Taking a closer look to second pie chart large number of girls enjoy dancing. Only 2% of boys prefer reading, whereas 21% of girls prefer reading. 16 % of girls like to play computer games. 15% and 10% of girls enjoy netball and listening to music respectively. In the second chart soccer is being replaced by gymnastics. It is the least prefered sports by girls. Only 11% girls play gynmastic
The two
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charts
draw a conclusion of a survey on Boy's and Girl's cultural and leisure activities.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
listening to music are 10%
Did you mean "that"?
that is
they are equal in numbers. Moving to the
first
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
it
is observed
that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
playing computer games. Basket ball
is considered
to be second most popular leisure among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
. Basket ball is then followed by soccer. 17% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
like to play soccer. Kate boarding and listening to music is less preferable among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
,
that is
11%. And 10 %
respectively
. The lowest
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
activity is Reading. Taking a closer look to second pie
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chart
large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
dancing.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
2% of
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boys
prefer reading, whereas 21% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
prefer reading. 16 % of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
like to play computer games. 15% and 10% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
netball and listening to music
respectively
. In the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
soccer is
being replaced
by gymnastics. It is the least
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
sports by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
11%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
play
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
gynmastic

IELTS academic Boy's cultural and leisure activities: basketball 26%, soccer 17%, reading 2%, computer games 34%, Kate boarding 11%, listening to music 10%. Girls cultural activities and leisure activities: dance 27%, gymnastics 11%, reading 21%, computer games 16%, netball 15%, listening to music 10%

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
175 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Boy's cultural and leisure activities : basketball 26%, soccer 17%, reading 2%, computer games 34% , Kate boarding 11% , listening to music 10% . Girls cultural activities and leisure activities : dance 27% , gymnastics 11% , reading 21%, computer games 16% ,netball 15% ,listening to music 10%