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Birth rates of China and the USA?

Birth rates of China and the USA? 5Bb1P
The line graph gives information about changes in the birth rates of China and the USA from 1920 to 2000. Overall, the birth rates of both nations decreased over 80 years. Although the two trends were similar in term of a general decline, The birth rates of the USA in most years was higher than that China’s Looking at the chart in more detail, Between 1920 and 1935, The birth rates in the USA increased slightly from 10% to 12%. Similarly, There was minimal growth to about 15% in China in the same period. In the 1945s, the birth rates of the US remained stable at 5%. By contrast, there was a decrease to 5% in the birth rates of China. During the 1950s, The birth rates of China increased dramatically by 20%, higher than that of the USA. While five years later, In the 2000s, the birth rates of China declined significantly at 7% and dropped dramatically to 2% in the birth rates of the USA
The line graph gives information about
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changes
in the
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birth
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rates
of China and the USA from 1920 to 2000.

Overall
, the
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of both nations decreased over 80 years. Although the two trends were similar in term of a general decline, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of the USA in most years was higher than that China’s

Looking at the chart in more detail, Between 1920 and 1935, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in the USA increased
slightly
from 10% to 12%.
Similarly
, There was minimal growth to about 15% in China in the same period. In the 1945s, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of the US remained stable at 5%. By contrast, there was a decrease to 5% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of China.

During the 1950s, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of China increased
dramatically
by 20%, higher than that of the USA. While five years later, In the 2000s, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of China declined
significantly
at 7% and dropped
dramatically
to 2% in the
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of the
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USA
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IELTS academic Birth rates of China and the USA?

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
166 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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